The Red Flags of Autism
Parents, grandparents and daycare or preschool providers who see a child often are most able to notice the developmental red flags indicating problems.
Your family doctor can check height, weight, skeletal structure and during the brief time he spends with your young child, except to note obvious physical problems, he/she may not be adequately trained to notice early signs of Autism.
If you are worried, trust your intuition. Have an evaluation team of professionals including a psychologist, speech therapist and occupational therapist see your child. Time is of the essence, because the earlier autism is diagnosed, the more likely it is that treatment will be effective.
While still a baby or toddler, parents should be looking for signs of ASD. If your baby shows three or more of these signs seek immediate evaluation by professionals.
Social problems:
~does not have a big smile or happy expression by 6 months or thereafter
~ has no back-and-forth sharing of smiles, sounds, or facial expressions by 9 months.
~ does not respond when child’s name is called by 10 months
~ has little eye contact
~ pulls back when you lift them up
~ prefers to play alone or with objects versus play with other children
Communication problems:
~has no babbling, pointing, or other communicative gestures by 12 months
~has not spoken a single word by 16 months
~has s speech cadence that is not normal-pitch, voice quality
~ repeats sounds over and over
~loss of language or social skills at any age
Repetative behaviors:
~appears to become overwhelmed by certain sounds and noises
~ obsesses with certain objects
~ repeats same motion with hands, fingers, feet or whole body
~ repeats motion while handling objects
If your child worries you, trust your parental instincts and do not delay in having your child evaluated. The window of opportunity to make the most impact for a better outcome for an autistic child is never too soon but it can be too late!
Can you add other first signs of Autism?
Which signs did you notice first?
Nancy Wiseman’s web site First Signs and her new book, Could It Be Autism?, are excellent resources for parents who have a baby with questionable behaviors.
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"Social Machines"
Hi there, everyone! I was working on my robotics project this evening and while I was at it, I got an idea that I thought would help those with autism and particularly asperger syndrome communicate and socialize with others. I'm dubbing the concept "Social Machines." It's a robot, (or a computer program) that talks with people. It works a lot like a chat bot, you might say, but is specialized to help improve social skills.
So while I'm getting to work on this project, I'd like to see if any of you could help lead me in the right direction. For parents of children with autism, what sort of struggles do you notice they seem to struggle with. If you have autism yourself, is there anything you find difficult to understand socially, or any form of expression or communication you struggle with? Any therapists out there? I'd like to hear your input too.
The idea with a social machine, I'm thinking, is that maybe those with autism will pay more attention to robots or computers than people because robots move and many people with autism like actuation and many with autism or asperger syndrome are more comfortable in front of a computer than a person because they have the comfort of knowing that a computer won't judge you. But in turn, the social machine might help prepare those with autism communicate and understand more expressions with real human beings.
I'm thinking there will be two kinds of social machines: a robotic version and a computer version. A robotic social machine would have its advantages in a sense that it's a physical entity (it's there in front of you in the real world instead of on a flat screen. It's tangible--you can tough it). And...robots are interesting. A computer program would also have its advantages particularly if the person with autism is sensitive to servo motor movement (like a friend of mine). Instead of a robot, a character would appear in front of the computer screen and talk to the person with autism. It might be a human character, a robot character, maybe even a creature kind of character--though all three would have a personality.
The fun part of this would be that you could actually talk to the social machine using speech recognition software (like my robot uses). The SM would understand a plethora of different phrases, keep track of topics, and respond to these phrases in different ways (using a randomization function). My robot currently does all of this.
Ultimately, I'm thinking it would be ideal if the social machines plugged into a network and were kept up to date with a magnanimous array of topics and responses. That way, the social machines would always be primed and up to date. There might even be a website where suggestions and issues can be addressed to help improve the social machines for individuals with autism.
That's my idea. What you do think?
By the way, for a look at my robotics project, NINA, just visit my website at www.lorenjohnpresley.com
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Interview with Haley Moss -- Author, artist and teenager with HFA (Amazing young girl!)
When I see young kids with Autism or Asperger’s advocating for themselves, I get a sudden rush of excitement, followed quickly by an intense feeling of pride.
Although my children are not writing books, or getting interviewed by CNN, I do envision them some day being strong enough to tell their story, to share their experiences and to make a difference for the next generation of kids.
So, when I saw the new book, Middle School: The Stuff Nobody Tells You About, by 16 year old Haley Moss, I wanted to hear her story.
Turns out this young woman is nothing short of amazing.
She has not only become an author while still in high school, but is an incredible artist (she created all of the artwork for the book, including the cover). She is creative, has a great memory, can write poetry and says that she looks only at the positives of her Autism. Her mother told her about Autism by likening her ‘special talents’ to those of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter. And given Haley’s success, I’d say that the metaphor of her skills being ‘magical’ is fitting.
Haley comes across as a typical teenager, and even sounded like one during her CNN interview last April, when asked how her friends were taking her success, she responded with modest teenage charm, “Everyone is keeping it on the down low.”
Thankfully, she is here today to talk about her book which is aimed at explaining middle school to kids with autism, and their parents; from how to get through the classes, making friends, decoding texting acronyms and maybe most importantly (to me!), she even explains new slang, like “Down Low.”
So, if you have a child in middle school, entering middle school, or maybe you are like me and are already anticipating middle school with a certain sense of dread regardless of how far away it is; this is for you! Oh, and did I mention she is giving away a copy of her book? Oh, yes she is!
IMHO, U R in for a treat, and IIRC, many of U have kids the same age as Haley, so don’t say you’ll BRB, stay, read the interview and LOL with us! (Translation at the bottom of the page!)
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Hartley: Welcome to HLW3B Haley – I am so excited to have you here! Can you start by telling us about you and your family? (Specifically, my son would like to ask, do you have a dog?)
Haley: I am a sixteen-year-old girl with High Functioning Autism who lives in sunny South Florida. I go to a typical private high school and I am going to be a junior. I love to draw, read and write. I also have two standard poodles – you know, the big fluffy ones. One of them is white and his name is Thomas. He is 11 years old. My other one is black and his name is Zak. He is 3 years old and is known around the neighborhood as the “reindeer” because he thinks he could fly.
Hartley: Your book is great – a big CONGRATULATIONS on a job well done! The formatting is engaging with color, small illustrations and great added tips from other girls on the spectrum, plus the tips are both practical and reassuring. I am sure you weren’t aware of all of those things starting middle school, so when you think back, how did you feel then? Were you nervous? Excited?
Haley: I actually wasn’t nervous in middle school (sixth grade) because I was still at the same small school I had been at since the first grade. However, my transition to a larger school in seventh grade was a bit more nerve-racking. I had to learn everything. I went from 18 kids in my class to having 110. I also went from going between five classrooms in one building to navigating through a miniature college campus. Socially, I didn’t know a soul, and I didn’t know where to begin looking for friends. I was however, excited, because the school let you bring your computer everyday because lessons were online. I was really big on technology at school so I was excited.
Hartley: I like that your book covers everything – from the nuts and bolts of the schools physical layout to the intricacies of the word “boyfriend”. Which part was the hardest to write? Were you embarrassed or confused about any of it even at the time of writing it?
Haley: By the time I began writing the book, I was at the end of eighth grade. I was already a “survivor” and thought ‘Man, I have to help my fellow autism buddies. I hope they don’t have to go to three different schools and have the same friendship troubles that I had." I think the hardest thing to write was about friendship. Friendships were hard for me, and to relive the disappointment and loneliness I felt then was hard to document. It just hurt all over again. However, I do want to reiterate that high school does get better as people become more accepting of each other.
Hartley: The chapter on “New Slang” is hysterical to me. I actually just recommended your book to a girlfriend of mine who has a neurotypical daughter in middle school – laughingly telling her she could learn what her daughter was saying with your slang-guide. For those of us that are not as cool as we once were, translate some of the slang words for us – a few of the new ones for me are ‘Rents, Emo, and Glomp.
Haley: I included the slang section mainly to teach to my mom. She was just as confused as I was when the kids would come over and start saying some of these things. Now for a few quick definitions in context! How fun is that? ‘Rents is just “parents” but with kids trying to be cool by shortening it it to ‘rents, or if you’re me, ‘rentals. Emo was originally supposed to be short for ‘emotional’, but instead it turned into a social label and style of dress. Emo kids wear heavy black eyeliner, black clothing, and look kind of unkempt. It’s more like a mix of grunge and gothic. Glomps are tackle-hugs and someone usually ends up on the ground, but it is a loving gesture. For more on slang words, please check out the book! : )
Hartley: I appreciated the fact that you talk about difficult topics in your book like puberty, sexuality and dating. Those can be difficult topics for any teenager – but the social confusion for those on the spectrum can be even worse. What is your advice for girls that are not already ‘boy crazy’ when most middle school girls are? How do girls on the spectrum stay ‘cool’ when they aren’t interested in talking nonstop about boys?
Haley: The way I survived the ‘boy crazy’ girls was to just listen to them and nod when it seemed like a good time to nod. When the girls got tired of ranting about their crushes, boyfriends, and hot guys in magazines, they move onto a different topic, or then it is your turn to change the subject to something you want to talk about (preferably something you both in common). The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer is always a great thing to talk about. It’s the most popular thing out there and every girl knows something about it. Even if you aren’t interested in vampire romances, read the first book anyway and see the movies. Or just see the movies so you can fit in with all of your peers. I’m not saying you have to become obsessed, or even like it. Just know the story and the characters so you could make small talk about the series with the other girls.
Hartley: I remember clearly how hard the social structure amongst girls is (Even though that was in the WAY distant past). Tell us your suggestions for how to determine what group of girls is the right social group for you? How do you know who to trust when many girls can be very into gossip at that age?
To read the rest of this article, and enter to win Haley's amazing new book, please visit www.hartleysboys.com
Thanks!
Hartley
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Signs my son is working for the CIA
He's my Ittle Man but I just know he's working for the CIA. Here are some signs:
1) Speaks a second language - It may sound like babble and nothing like English. What if it's a second language that an elite group of CIA agents know? I just need to find the manual.
2) Department of Agriculture - My son doesn't say many words but he does say, "awall" that translated means, "apple." When he goes to the grocery store, he only points to apples. I think he's throwing everyone off his CIA status by making us think he works for the Dept. of Agriculture (Charlie Wilson's War joke).
3) The Master of Escape - I gave birth to a Houdini talented son. He can escape from anything. He started with his crib at 18 months. He can open child proof protected doors. He's out the door before you know it. Did I mention he can run fast? That's special training!
4) He keeps to himself and doesn't say much - Maybe he has top secret information that we don't have security clearance for. Maybe he's keeping close observations and taking notes for the next meeting. Maybe his drawings contain secret codes to his next mission.
5) He's all about wheels - My son loves cars, trucks, trains, and airplanes. Maybe he's already secretly traveled in something similar on a trip. Maybe he's determining the best mode of transportation for his next assignment. Could be.
In all seriousness, my son is among many that face language and social developmental problems. I may try to joke about him being CIA. Maybe it's a humor defense mechanism to mask the many challenges we face.
So give a hug of support to someone with Autism. In fact, don't forget to hug their parents and families. It's a tough road for everyone. We just want the best for our kids!
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Parenting a High Schooler on the Spectrum: Interview and Giveaway with author and Autism Mom Claire LaZebnik
Since I don’t have any experience whatsoever with parenting teenagers, let alone teenagers on the spectrum, I had to find an expert that had survived the teenage years and lived to talk about it for my back to school series.
And I did just that. Meet Claire LaZebnik.
Claire co-authored the book, Growing Up on the Spectrum, with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel and is proud to be an Autism Mom -- and is also giving away a copy of her book (Totally radical, dude...nevermind, that was cool when *I* was a teenager...not so much now....). So, who better to ask for tips to help parents that are just entering this new realm of life with their child than a woman who had done just that?
Since teenagers notably have a short attention span, let’s get right to the answers, shall we?
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Hartley: Hi Claire! Welcome to HLW3B – so happy to have you here! Tell me a little about yourself, your family and your son?
Claire: Thanks for inviting me. Let’s see . . . I’m the mother of four kids: the oldest has autism, the second oldest has Celiac Disease, the third (and only girl) has Addison’s and Hashimoto’s Disease and the youngest has so far dodged any diagnoses, but we’ll see what the future brings. In spite of all that, we’re a happy, silly, busy family and everyone’s doing great. My husband and I are both writers. He’s a co-executive producer on “The Simpsons” and I write books—mostly novels (my fourth one, IF YOU LIVED HERE, YOU’D BE HOME NOW comes out this September) but I’ve co-written two non-fiction books about autism with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel who, with her husband, Dr. Robert Koegel, runs the Koegel Autism Clinic at the University of California, Santa Barbara. I originally met Lynn to consult with her about our oldest son, who was five or six at the time. I was blown away by the program she and her husband had developed: it all stems out of ABA (applied behavioral analysis) but they had spent time reviewing tapes of old clients to see how they’d progressed over the last decade or so, and used that knowledge to pinpoint certain “pivotal behaviors”—behaviors which, when appropriately addressed and improved, bring about even greater widespread improvement. Everything she suggested we do with our son made a huge difference. I’m happy to say that this kid—who was completely non-verbal at three and still mostly echolalic at six—is heading off to college this fall. It’s been a long journey.
One important thing I should stress right from the beginning here is that I’m a mom, not an expert. My job as co-author of our two books was to provide the parent’s perspective and to make the prose as user-friendly as possible. Of course, I’ve picked up some ideas from Dr. Koegel along the way, but I’m NOT a clinician!
If you want more specific, expert-reviewed advice, please check out our two collaborations, OVERCOMING AUTISM (aimed at parents of kids who’ve just been diagnosed up through elementary school) and GROWING UP ON THE SPECTRUM (for parents of kids in middle school through young adulthood). The latter also contains some first-person essays by my son, who talks about his own experiences of . . . well, growing up on the spectrum.
Finally, please know that while I’m very good at giving advice, I am by no means a perfect mother. A lot of good intentions fall by the wayside when you’re dealing with four kids with different needs, a house that’s always messy, several pets, and a writing career. I often don’t live up to the goals I’m describing. We’ve done a lot for our son and we’re thrilled with the adult he’s becoming, but I can also look back and wish we’d done more.
Hartley: As parents, we always think we could do more -- but to me, that is what defines us as being great! For the many parents out there who are anticipating the start of school already, what should they start doing now to help prepare their child on the spectrum for high school?
Claire: Any kind of priming—social, academic, spatial—is going to be useful. You should probably spend the most time on the area that your child needs the most support in. So if your child can hold his own academically but has had trouble making friends in the past, now’s the time to find out who’s going to be in his class next year and see if you can make some connections there. A mutual friend might come in handy to provide introductions and pave the way. If you have the economic means, you could think about throwing a party for some or all of the incoming class. Depending on the severity of your kid’s special needs, you could ask some peers to be helpers (letting them know what the issue is and asking them for their social support in the upcoming years—kids are often incredibly receptive to being directly asked for their help) or simply try to find a friend with a shared interest.
If your child is fairly social but has trouble keeping up in class, you might want to contact the school and get some of the class materials ahead of time so you can give him a solid grounding in them. For example, if your kid’s like mine, getting him to read some of the literary assignments for English ahead of time can really help, so he’s actually rereading them when he’s in class. That extra exposure might make a huge difference in his comprehension (and it wouldn’t hurt for you to read them too, so you can help him work it out when it’s quiz or essay-writing time).
If the school is much bigger than the one she’s been going to, you might want to get on campus ahead of time and walk around, exploring it and getting a sense of where everything is and talking through some of the choices and tasks she’s going to be dealing with during her days there.
We always found it useful to contact teachers ahead of time and just let them know that we were available to give support at home for any issues that might come up. If teachers know you’re willing to provide any necessary tutoring or priming yourself, they’re often not only willing but grateful to stay in touch during the school year, and you’ll know in advance if anything’s worrying them about your child’s academic performance—before he’s hopelessly behind.
Hartley: The communication between parent and teacher(s) is truly key to success in my book. Great advice! What about the nuts & bolts of high school -- like the practicality of a larger school, more kids, more classes, and more transitions? What kinds of things do you suggest parents ask for on their high schooler’s IEP to help them make the transition?
Claire: I have to be honest here and confess that it’s been a long time since I’ve had to deal with IEPs because my son switched to a private school in 6th grade. So I’m rusty on the whole thing—IEPs have their own language and code. But I can tell you some of the things you should think about requesting from the school in general.
One is accommodations on tests and quizzes. We stupidly didn’t ask for these, proud that our son was holding his head up academically (well, mostly holding it up) without them. Then we started thinking about college and discovered that you need to prove your kid’s been getting those accommodations in high school to request them on the standardized college tests. We had to scramble to request them for his senior year—and then wondered why we hadn’t done it before. He really could have used the extra processing time all along and the school was willing to keep it on an “as requested by the student” basis—if he wanted more time, he got it, but he wasn’t singled out in any way.
You might also want accommodations on the actual classwork or homework. If your child isn’t up to writing a long expository paper, the teacher might be willing to break the assignment down into short answer questions—or might at least agree to let you do it. That kind of thing. You want your child to be doing work that’s as close to what the other students are doing as possible, but with accommodations if he needs them.
Some other thoughts: you might want to see if the school’s willing to ask for recruits to help your child out during social times, like lunch or recess, eating with him and introducing him to others. Or if they’re open to starting a club that plays to your child’s strengths (a video game club maybe?) Many high schools are willing to host a club so long as you can get a faculty member or parent to be in charge of it, so you might be able to get something going that will show your child to his best advantage and improve his social status.
Hartley: Love the idea of starting a club! I once read that all a child needs is ONE friend to make them feel socially successful -- and a club sounds like the perfect place to find someone with similar interests. High school marks many big social milestones, and one of the biggest is certainly getting a driver’s license. What is your advice for managing the process of getting the license and the inevitable challenges of increased freedom that comes with having a license?
Claire: In all honesty, if you can throw money at this problem, then do. (Sorry, but there it is.) We hired someone who had worked with kids on the spectrum before and came highly recommended by some parents we knew. He was wildly expensive and insisted on many many hours of on the road time. He said that kids with autism need to be exposed to as many alternate scenarios as possible, since they have so much trouble generalizing. Our son logged a LOT of miles and had done practice tests several times before taking his real test—and because of that, he passed the first time! Of course, if you can’t afford to hire someone for that many hours, then I think you have to be prepared to put the time in yourself. There’s nothing more important than safety.
I’ve heard you can get a sticker for your child’s license that says something about his having autism. It’s not a bad idea. Police have famously assumed the worst about teenagers or young adults on the spectrum, so if there’s a good chance your child might say or do the wrong thing if pulled over, something official explaining their situation could really help
I’ve always felt that cell phones are the greatest invention of the modern world for parents. We will often tell our teenage sons that they have to check in with us by a certain time when they’re out. If they don’t, we let them know we’re not pleased and that if it happens again, we’re going to cut back on the freedom we allow them. But they’re pretty good about it, because they know we’re pretty easy-going about the rules so long as they’re in touch with us.
Hartley: Private driving teacher -- GENIUS! And now that they are driving, what about dates? High school marks the time when dating becomes the norm. When your child is on the spectrum, how does this make things harder? What is your advice for the moms out there trying to help guide their child through the dating world?
Claire: Honestly, I wish I had all the answers for this one. It’s hard out there for a kid who’s a little different but who wants to be dating. Is there anything more subtle and less clearcut than flirting? It’s not something you can teach your kid or prime him for. So there’s no question that kids on the spectrum are at a huge disadvantage when it comes to romance.
As always with social things, you want to encourage your child to meet people with similar interests. There are social groups out there for teens on the spectrum and those can really help. Teaching your son or daughter to be polite, pleasant, well-mannered and to practice good hygiene is important. In GROWING UP ON THE SPECTRUM, we have a whole chapter devoted to various romantic success stories of people we know who are on the spectrum, and the lessons we’ve learned from these stories. (the book covers some of these topics in much greater depth—feel free to take it out of your local library.)
Hartley: Peer pressure. That term strikes fear in the heart of every parent, but specifically those of us who have a child who is so readily willing to do what they are told to by their friends. I am especially scared of this. What is the best way to discuss peer pressure with our kids?
Claire: As frequently as possible! My son hates when I suggest that friends could lead him astray. He’s very literal so as far as he’s concerned, a “friend,” by definition, is someone who would never harm you in any way. But of course peer pressure only works when you actually care about the good opinion of the person pressuring you—a friend can pressure you, a stranger can’t.
We’ve worked hard to instill certain core beliefs in all our kids—drugs are dangerous, driving under the influence is deadly, and you should never break the law—and the corollary to all that is that if a friend tries to persuade you otherwise, you shouldn’t trust that friend. The advantage to kids on the spectrum is that they can be good rule followers. The problem is that we’re always pushing them to be more social, and early on I committed the sin of saying, “play like the other kids,” something I regretted when he was older and I wanted to teach him the opposite lesson of “don’t do what the other kids are doing just because they’re doing it”! Learn from my mistake: teach your child to trust his own instincts rather than to imitate peers who might be untrustworthy.
One thing that’s really helped us is that our son does have a couple of adults he’s willing to confide in (our brother-in-law and a therapist who’s seen Andrew for over 15 years). We know that they’ll always steer him in the right direction and encourage him to talk to them about any sticky situations. If you can find someone like that, someone whom you and your child trust equally, that’s huge. Teenagers aren’t crazy about coming to their parents about problems, but they will talk to other adults who they think are cooler than their parents (and who isn’t?).
Hartley: I recently have started noticing the value of a 'mentor' in my son's life. I originally thought that just having an active father would be fine, but I see now how a 'cool' older brother or uncle would come in seriously handy! Making friends is hard for kids like mine, and I worry that my son will become friends with anyone that will have him – and ultimately that may be the absolutely wrong group of kids. How can we as parents help guide our children’s friendships?
Claire: Yeah, that’s a tricky one. I do think (although maybe I’m wrong about this) that because kids with autism tend to be less social than other kids, that actually allows us parents to have a little more control over their friendships. If you’re the one suggesting your child get on the phone, call someone, and make plans (and are prompting him all along the way), you can probably push him toward a kid you like as opposed to a kid you DON’T like. I’ve also found that (and please don’t tell my kids this) simply being more available to DRIVE when the plan is with a kid you like than with a kid you don’t can do a lot toward steering your child in the right direction! (Literally, I guess.)
I do suggest you really think about what you don’t like about any particular kid. If he genuinely seems destructive in some way, you have to do everything in your power to keep your kid away from him. But if he just seems mildly annoying to you—not the kind of kid you’d pick out yourself, but not evil either—then think about the possibility that maybe the friendship works for your kid on some level.
I fretted a lot about my son’s choice of friends in middle school, because he was often attracted to the loud, boastful, obnoxious types, and the beginning of high school was rocky socially (he started off with a group of kids who later rejected him) but in the end he found a couple of really great friends, boys we liked and trusted and whom he stayed friends with all the way through. In the end, his instincts were right—which I keep reminding myself about as he heads off to live at college!
Hartley: College? Gulp. : ) Any last piece of advice for those Autism parents getting ready to embark on this new – and very scary – part of life with their child?
Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, say “go ahead,” and hope for the best. You can’t hover and protect your child every second anymore. Those days are gone. It’s scary. Your kid is walking off a cliff and there will be bruising and injuries. But the goal is to give her the confidence to move out into the world without you, and she can’t do that if you never let go.
On the other hand . . . Dr. Koegel and I are great believers in “stealth” parenting. You need to fade back, but you don’t need to disappear. A certain amount of controlling the things you can control (staying in touch with teachers, hiring the best driving instructors, visiting school and watching your child from a distance to see how he’s doing, etc.) is valuable. You want your child to succeed as much as possible, which doesn’t mean you cut off opportunities, just that you manipulate those opportunities to the best of your abilities.
Hartley: Thank you Claire for taking the time to be here today! I am inspired by those women who have walked this path before me, just like you!
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To enter for your chance to win a copy of Claire's book or to find other information, resources and inspiration go to www.hartleysboys.com
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We all need a friend!
My name is Lizette and I am of Puerto Rican and Irish decent. I live in the Bronx and I am married with three children. My eldest child is Devynn my daughter and she is five. My middle Child is Donovan and the youngest is Dustin he is just about 18 months old.
My middle child Donovan was diagnosed when he was about 18 months old. It was a struggle to get him the proper services, but I managed to get them. With early intervention and ABA services he has progressed. He definitely has his moments where he acts up and there a lots of regression. But, we keep treking forward.
During this journey that I am still on, I have realized that God has chosen me to be Donovan's mom, because he knew that I had enough love and fight in me to help him through. I take each day as it comes and try as hard as I can to manage. As I am sure so many other parents like me do.
Donovan is more verbal now and he is very bright. He knows his alphabet and he can count to 20 and higher at times. He definitely knows what he wants! LOL We are still trying to work on his social skills. He interacts a bit more, but he is still very rough. He grabs other kids ears and squeezes really tight. This makes going out to play areas difficult. I have been trying to find someone who is willing to get together and help out with his socialization. But I have not been fortunate enough to make this happen. I have come in contact with a couple other parents. But, when the day arrives, they suddenly have to cancel. Or they dont think that their child will enjoy it.
I am not sure how Donovan will act, but I am willing to take a chance. Isnt that what its all about? Trial and error?
I also would like to meet other parents who are willing to share their struggles and how they work through them. There are parent groups in my area, but many meet after work from 7 pm to about 9 pm and those hours are hard for me as a working mom. So I am hoping that I can meet someone or chat with others and learn more to take with me on this Journey!
Please to meet you!
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Sharing Experiences
 http://relatetoautism.com/images/user/sharing_experiences.jpg" width="30%" align="right" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; margin-left: 10px; ">We've met many children with autism who love to talk! Often children will have a few favorite topics that they'll happily talk about all day long. This can be a wonderful doorway into connecting with you child. Finding a way to be genuinely interested in what s/he is talking about will help bring you closer together.
Many children on the spectrum however find it challenging to talk about their own experiences (vs facts and information) and to understand the experiences of others. This is often an area of focus in the http://www.relatetoautism.com/index.php?subform=article&article_id=542" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(223, 119, 46); ">Growth through Play System for kids who already have a lot of language.
Why is this important?
Drawing someone’s attention to an object or event currently present is the first step in experience sharing. The next is telling someone about something that happened when they weren’t present. This is crucial for creating social bonds. This skill allows us to be able to maintain close relationships with others without having to be continuously physically present with them.
Think about what you do when you meet up with a friend you haven’t seen for a couple of weeks. You fill them in on your life since you last spoke, share with them experiences you had without them. This helps your friend feel connected to you and a part of your life without having to be with you every day.
As you share your experience with your friend you will select experiences that are relevant to that particular person or those that you would like their perspective on. Sharing experiences with our social group doesn’t just allow us to stay connected but it helps us to manage and process experiences that may be challenging for us. This type of social support is essential for our well-being.
Having a friend to share your thoughts with, bounce ideas off and connect with emotionally has been shown over and over by research to promote mental, emotional and physical health.
Through putting our own experiences into words we help to organize the experience for ourselves. It is often in the retelling that the story begins to make sense to us. We create a personal narrative, the story of who we are. This is an important part of developing a clear sense of self. Sharing autobiographical information is often very challenging for people with autism.
How do we reach this goal?
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Hello, I am new to AutSpot
and kind of new to blogging! I have 8 year old twins, a boy & a girl. My son has autism, and both of my kids are AMAZING!!! I feel lucky to even know them.
My husband & I own a couple of video production companies. We have used some of our wonderful experiences to create an award-winning social skills video called Kibbles Rockin' Clubhouse. It was really fun & my son has really developed an interest in what my husband does - he is figuring out editing programs on his own! Smart guy.
Anyway, if anybody's interested, there are free podcasts on the site & some downloads. www.noteabilities.com<br><br>So anyways, my 8 year old kid is doing so great right now, and then a friend of mine who has a kid on the spectrum a little bit older is starting to freak me out about "theory of mind" stuff and how I gotta jump on that... I'm so tired... just when I feel I'm on top of things, the kids start growing older & now something new... anybody want to give me a heads up? Feeling like an expert on "bigger" little kids? It's the whole bullying stage about to start, I think. Just got the TalkAbility Book from Hannen. Any other suggestions on resources? Any would be appreciated. Thanks!
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When your child does not know when he is being bullied
Aidan, my 9 year old has extreme difficulties reading others emotions/facial expressions. When he plays it must be to his rules, not others. Most of our friends children understand his issues and help him play as a group. Newly moved into our neighborhood though, is several new families with kids my sons age. For over a month now he has been beat up several times, his bike tires popped and chain destroyed, alot of his old friends are falling under peer pressure to taunt him as well. Last night he came in with bruises and scratches on his face and arms. I have spoken to the other childs care giver with no real resolution. Legally, I know my sons rights. But my problem is getting Aidan to understand that if these children are being mean or hurting him he needs to come inside... walk away. The difficulty is he does not recognize when others are hurt or angry by his actions. His social skills are almost nill. He just keeps on going and going. I have limited his outdoor time and he gets upset with me thinking it is a punishment instead of protection. Any feedback on this would be very appreciated.
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Social Stories
I would like any info or recommendations on where to buy or how to write social stories. My son is 6 and is mostly nonverbal but is really into books!! Any help would be appreciated!
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Social Stories
I would like any info or recommendations on where to buy or how to write social stories. My son is 6 and is mostly nonverbal but is really into books!! Any help would be appreciated!
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9 Ways to Boost Your Child's Social Skills
When most parents think of teaching their child good social skills they think of making sure their child learns to say “Please” and “Thank you.” Others may even add in that a child should offer a snack to their friends during play dates or teach them why it is appropriate to give everyone in class a birthday invitation and not to exclude anyone. All of which are great social skills to have. For every child.
But, for parents of children with an invisible disability – whether that is Autism, Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, or even Bipolar Disorder – we think of completely different challenges when we are faced with teaching our children social skills. We think of reciprocal language, sharing control during play, being flexible, and not monopolizing the conversation (that is assuming they even know how to start a conversation in the first place).
Knowing our children have these complex challenges with social skills makes teaching social skills just a part of a much larger problem. And, often our children’s social skill deficits are compounded by other challenges – such as attention issues, sensory issues, or a simple lack of interest. But that doesn’t change the fact that most of our kids want friends.
And they need help from us to make to make – and keep - friends.
So how do you go about helping boost your child’s social skills? Good question!
In our house we have tried many different ways to teach social skills, from the basic skills (ask someone to play with you), to the more complex (you have to respond to their question and ask another one), and the ones that have no explanation at all (how to fight ‘fair’). And over the years, I have boiled it down to those that work.
Here are 9 tips for boosting your child’s social skills:
1. Formal Classes: One of the most beneficial things I have done is take my oldest son to formal Social Skills classes. Ours were taught by a woman with her masters in social work, but many are led by other professionals (Speech Therapists, Educational Consultants, and counselors). At first I thought this was a waste – I am social, I know what to do – but I couldn’t have been more wrong. The curriculum breaks down basic social situations into easy to learn, and easy to practice, lessons. From how to have host behavior and ways to share the control of play, to how to pick and keep friends, these step by step, straightforward lessons have been invaluable to us.
2. Social Skills Groups: Once we had some of the basics down, the next step was practicing them. We attend social skills groups that are facilitated but are not ‘taught’. It is an opportunity for us to be with other children who have social challenges and practice the skills we are learning. Having me, and/or another facilitator available, allows my son to get verbal and nonverbal reminders on how to adjust behavior, or quite simply, when to ask a question.
3. Social Stories: Reading stories that illustrate social situations to a child (in pictures or in words depending on their developmental level) gives a child a better understanding of expected behavior, suggested conversation and social norms in a given situation. This is a good way to give your child some black and white information about this grey subject.
4. Video: One of the best ways I have found to demonstrate or illustrate these social situations, especially those that my son is on his own for (school, birthday parties, play dates) is through video. There are many videos out there, but the ones we have used most regularly are from Model Me Kids (they even have an iPod/iPad app!).
5. Role Playing: When there isn’t a book, or a video handy (and I don’t have the time or energy to make one!) we do simple role playing. This is a good way to address very specific issues that are affecting my children. Like, “I want to play with Johnny at school, but every time I ask him to play tag, he says no.” Role playing through this situation with my children allows us to come up with other things my son could say to Johnny, without the on-the-sport pressure. I also enlist the help of my middle neuro-typical son to participate in this brainstorming session, as his take on the situation is always incredibly helpful.
6. Real Life Practice: There is nothing more valuable than practice. Our kids have to get out there – make mistakes – and find success. Don’t stay inside, don’t avoid every party or the local playground, give it some good thought and choose a social challenge that will give your child the chance to shine – or at least glimmer a little.
7. Play Dates: Play dates are the easiest way to put your child in the position to succeed. You control the time, the location and the play. My best advice for these is to consider them like therapy: Do them every week. Each time you have one set up, plan the activities for the children. Choose activities that your child enjoys and can do with a relative ease. If his strength isn’t taking turns, don’t play board games. If your child can’t share his Legos, don’t get them out. And on the other hand, if you child shines at art, plan a craft or if he has mad-skills on the guitar, have a jam session. This is your chance to manufacture positive interactions with your child’s peers.
8. Phone Conversations: Don’t under value the need for phone conversations. Although arguably texting will likely take over for real phone conversations by the time most of our kids are teenagers, they need to know how to have a conversation on the phone now. And don’t underestimate this: it is hard. No visual clues, no way to read body language; they will have to rely on their ability to hear tone, inflection and respond to questions without a visual. It requires practice. Use play phones, call relatives, and set up phone conversations between play dates with the friends your child creates.
9. Make-Up Rules. This is kind of an awkward one – but for those social skills that don’t really have a rhyme or reason – the ones that defy laws of logic; makes up your own. Here’s an example: Gabriel likes to tell me I look pretty. He knows this is a nice thing to say. But he says it when I am done working out, or when I have jumped out of the shower, towel on my head, no makeup and ran to see why someone was screaming. Not such a good time, and with his interest in eventually having a girlfriend, I think it is important to give him some guidance. So, we have the rule, “If I am not ready to go out for the day, or with your father on a date, then hold off on your compliments until I am.” That’s a grey area, but I gave him a black and white rule to help him avoid social blunders. Same rule is applied to fighting with his brothers. I don’t know why the ‘bro code’ says you cannot hit a guy in the back, but among other places, that is just not acceptable. It is a social norm that I cannot explain. My son requires direction on these things and the best I can give him is narrow guidelines that we can expand as he gets older.
More information and articles at http://www.hartleysboys.com">www.hartleysboys.com</A></P>
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www.specialplaydate.com
This is an awesome resource!
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NYC Creative Arts Therapy/Social Skills Group Series
ARTS Rx has open enrollment for our new Creative Arts Social Skills
Group Series for children with special needs. Our Sunday program runs
for 2 hours and 15 minutes and includes Art, Dance/Movement and Music Therapy Groups.
We offer an integrated approach that combines hands-on creative arts
experiences through the modalities of art therapy, music therapy, and
dance therapy with best-practice interventions to address treatment
goals such as: Social Skills, Coping Skills, Communication, Sensory Integration, Attention Span, Self Esteem, and Developmental Growth.
Classes: 3/27, 4/3, 4/10, 4/17, 5/1, 5/8, 5/15 & 5/22
Ages: 3-8
Time: 10am-12:15pm
Group Size: Small groups with 8 participants maximum, Ratio of children to staff is no more than 2:1
Price:$40 per group session/ Sliding Scale Fee Available
Location: 39 West 14th Street (Suite # 508) New York, NY 10011 (between 5th and 6th Ave)
Easy accessible to subways: N,Q,R,4,5,6, to Union Square, F to 14th
St./6th Avenue, OR 1,2,3 to 14th St./7th Avenue (Free Street Parking
Sundays)
Free Trial Sessions Available!
For additional information, please contact:
Lina Meza-Murillo
917-596-8517
Lina @ARTSRX.com
http://www.ARTSRX.com" style="line-height: 1.22em; color: rgb(30, 102, 174); ">www.ARTSRX.com</b></span></a></span></div></div>
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Camp Buckskin
Serving youth with AD/HD, LD, Asperger’s and other related needs. Our program helps youth with social skill or academic difficulties to experience greater success! Check out our camp for your child this summer at http://www.campbuckskin.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" style="cursor: pointer; color: rgb(59, 89, 152); text-decoration: none; ">www.campbuckskin.com</a></span>
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Rediagnosed today
My Hadley was different from day one. She was a quiet baby who only cried when she was held. When she ate so couldn't be touched, she never made eye contact. I would question it, because she wasn't my first, and people told me I was making an issue out of nothing and that I should be grateful I had such a good baby.
I was grateful. I loved her and as she grew she hit all the milestones on target. I kept noticing things that seemed off. She was so smart and her vocabulary seemed advanced but she didn't act like the other kids. Her play seemed odd. The minute her dolls were undressed she would refuse to touch them, even if someone put the clothes back on them. She would just line up the toys but never play with them. She seemed in her own world.By the time she was three she was frequently wandering off. No lock could contain her. We lived on a small airbase and I would find her by the tarmacs just watching planes come and go. One day I couldn't locate my 18 month old son. I went into the kitchen and found Hadley was rearranging all the canned food in color order. She then announced that her little brother was hot so she took off his clothes and let him out to cool down. I found him a block away.
When she was 4 she was able to explain everything there was to know about lactation. Which she would do in a long uncomfortable monologue to anyone unlucky enough to get cornered by her.
I finally got her evaluated which resulted in a diagnosis of Asperger's. I read everything I could I got her into ABA and she began to improve. Her little brother was diagnosed with Celiac around then so the house went gluten free. She became an almost normal little girl. Life seemed to go like it should for a while.
She still didn't really play. She really didn't have any friends. She never got invited to birthday parties and only one or two children out of 30 invited would show up. But she didn't seem to mind or even notice. At least, I thought she didn't.I started to think that she was misdiagnosed. That really she may just be very smart and a little odd.
It wasn't until a few months ago that she started complaining about the other kids picking on her. I went to the school and they said they couldn't do much since she was diagnosed with Asperger's.
I was so mad. It seemed like such an injustice. She seemed pretty normal to me now. So, I got a second opinion. I explained to the staff I thought she was either wrongly diagnosed or had out grown it.
But, as I sat there today I realized this was real. It will never end she will never outgrow it. She fell many times doing the simple dexterity test and excelled the academic portion. When it came to conversation with the tester she was all talk no listen and she blew the points on picking up the non-verbal cues.
I really thought she might be cured. I really wanted it. I love my girl and am very proud of how far she came. But, I am sad for the life ahead. The struggles of seeing others having friendships that last when her's don't. She sees it now and gets bummed. She is only 8. What will I tell her when she is older?
How do I help her? How do I not feel pain for a loss she doesn't fully understand?
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A New Kind of Social Butterfly
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QZ4H4hNAzw8/TV8oQz88U9I/AAAAAAAAAFQ/LBBVOnMFz9g/s1600/author+picture+100.jpg" imageanchor="1">http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QZ4H4hNAzw8/TV8oQz88U9I/AAAAAAAAAFQ/LBBVOnMFz9g/s200/author+picture+100.jpg" width=158 height=200 i$="true">Basking in the cool breeze after a hazy-hot summer day in Kansas, the laser-yellow sun morphs into a freefalling, pink, fireball. Half the sky is blue while the other glows purple and orange. I love this time of day; this is when you'll find us at the park.
....Quietly I watch my daughter. She is tumbling about the jungle gym when Ben, a rather boisterous boy gruffly assigns her the duty of being the Co-Captain of his ship. Ashi suspiciously, but happily, accepts his bossy invitation to play.
Ben tells her to 'steer' the jungle gym, er, the very large, sea-going vessel, across the ocean (of gravel.) Ashi grabs the "steering wheel", peers over the top, and yells (softly) "ahoy! me hearties!" Ben is unaware that Ashi has been watching episodes of The Wiggles to keep her baby brother, Izaiah, happy.
Surrounding the 'ship' are islands and enemy vessels. The other 'mates' aboard the 'ship' are told by the shouting, finger pointing, Captain Ben, "abandon ship! Everyone off! Hurry! Get more bombs!" Ashi does not disembark as she is ordered, but thankfully, Captain Ben seems to be okay with that.
Several four- footed mateys scurry off the ship and frantically gather bombs (pinecones.) They pack as many as their little hands, arms, and shirts can carry and then race back with their ammunition. This wild pack of rough and tumble pirates, Brian, Jaden, Iyana, Jessica, Maura, and Joshua then bucket-line the bombs to Co-Captain, Ashi, who musters up an, "arrrrgg" as she quickly disposes of the dirty, pokey items into the hands of Captain Ben.
Ben hurls the the bombs from atop the mast, making booming, explosive noises as each one lands, destroying all of the encroaching villains. I, an innocent bystander, even have to dodge the 'bombs' myself! The crew defends their ship until all the one-eyed crooks are annialated and the world is safe once again.
Then the sun is swallowed whole and the ship dissolves into the night, leaving behind a green and yellow jungle gym. The ocean dries up too so we pour the rocks out of our shoes and laughed all the way home.
All of this playtime has certainly made me think about how much Ashi has changed. She's made huge progress academically, and in her behavior and communication and all her motor skills, but when I was asked to write about something our autist had achieved lately, it occured to me what great strides Ashi has made in the social arena too.
For most years, our days in the park were never like the one described above. No, ours were long, sunscorching days of endless self-stimming with rocks. Having a myriad of sensory issues, it was out of necessity that Ashi wasn't social at the park or anywhere. We've always respected that about her and while we always had the door open for socializing, we never forced it on her. Letting it come about naturally and at her own pace has been the very best for her. She began to blossom about the age of six.
Now, at seven and a half, she has really branched out. Today, she seeks out friends, strikes up conversation, engages in play, takes on roles in pretend play, and even tolerates other children's behaviors, which would have been difficult before. I would call this an enormous achievement. My sweet, little, autist has been slowly emerging as the beautiful butterfly she's always been to me, but now for the world to see. Will she play like this tomorrow? Maybe, maybe not, but she is always flying forward; flittering here and there, but always flying flying forward.
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Ashi (in white) handing over the bombs |
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Ashi and a new found friend |
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"I Don't Like People"
My son Simon is 13 years old, and is high functioning autistic. He has never had a friend, not really. I mean, there have been a couple of boys from OT whom he called his friends. But that's not really what they were. They were just guys he knew from therapy that he learned had something in common with him, maybe a favorite t.v. show, or a game they both liked to play. But they never really connected. He's an only child too, so he doesn't even have the "ready made" playmates that a lot of autistic kids get.
I have watched him at school, sitting in the same seat at the same table everyday of each school year. Not talking to anyone, even when other kids try to make conversations with him, he answers their questions, but that's it. There's no real connection. He prefers to sit by himself, but of course, that isn't an option in the school cafeteria. There are always other kids sitting there too.
I have been his best companion throughout his life, and his dad fills in when he can; he works a lot, so he doesn't get much time. We had Simon when we were somewhat older, so we don't have the energy that many young parents have. He leads a very isolated life for a teen. He does play violin, so he is in orchestra, and he swims on the swim team, and swims year around. His classmates and teammates all seem to like him and often try to connect with him when they're around. But Simon just doesn't seem to "get" it. He will sometimes carry on a conversation, but it's more of a monologue. It's almost like a script of the same topics over and over.
A couple of weeks ago at swim practice, one of the other moms was talking about having a little get together at the pool on a Friday night for just the kids in Simon's age group. Simon has grown up with these kids since kindergarden. We would bring some food, and play music, you know, the kind of stuff 13 year olds like. This other mom asked me if I thought Simon might be interested in doing something like that. I said that I was sure he would, and I thought it was a great idea.
Then, later that evening during dinner at home, I told him about the plan, and told him I thought it sounded like it could be fun. I asked him if he might be interested in something like that. And he said to me: "Nah, not really." I asked him why not, and he said "Because I don't really like people, because I don't understand them." in his usual matter of fact style.
So there it is. Now, my heart is breaking for my son at this moment, because I am thinking; he will never have a friend. It really sank in then. I mean, of course, I've always known that he wasn't able to be social, but I guess I was holding out hope that at some point, maybe there would be some kind of revelation for him. He would meet another kid and they would "click" and next thing you know, he's hanging out with his friend like any other teenager. But now my hopes are fading. I envision him as a lonely man, years into the future, and I am fighting the tears... again. I think it bothers me so much because I DO like people, and I understand them very well. I am a "people person" as they say. I can not imagine a life without friends!
But then I realize; he is happy the way he is. He isn't sad that he hasn't got friends. I understand that there are some kids on the spectrum who really want friends, but can't make or keep them. I guess maybe this would be worse, to watch your child struggle and try, but not be successful in his quest for friends. So I think that maybe it's better this way, at least he isn't sad that he can't make friends. Then again, I find myself wondering, do I give up, or do I keep trying to get him interested in friendship? After all, studies have even shown that people who have close friendships are healthier. And as an only child, when we his parents are gone some day, who will he turn to for support and companionship? I know I am not the only mother to ponder these questions.
As autism rates soar, are we looking at a future society of people who don't like people? What would society be like then? We are a social species, and we have survived in part because we are socially connected. But imagine when autism rates rise to 1 in 50, then 1 in 25, 1 in 10... If we don't find some clear answers about autism we could be looking at a 50% autistic population in our kids lifetime. What then? It's like an old episode of the Twilight Zone.
"I don't like people because I don't understand them." How will people work together? How will families survive? What will become of the human race? This is a crisis. We are at a cross roads. We can't wait around to see how this episode ends.
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Let's Go to the Movies (Part 1) (Spring 2010)
This is a story I wrote about Haydn's first trip to the movies. He was four years old, socially inept, crazy curious, and well into the early stages of full blown light fixture addiction.
We go to regular movies about twice a month now, and Haydn loves it. It took quite a few months of sensory-friendly movies with a timer and a lot of patience, but now he sits in his seat, keeps his voice down, and eats all of his popcorn.
But every journey starts with that first step into a new world...
I begin to feel the energy surge as soon as we walk into the lobby of the movie theater and encounter a larger than life Iron Man 2 display.
"Daddy-o! That's a great big Iron Man!!!"
"It sure is Haydn."
"Hey Daddy-o! Look at that great big Iron Man!!!"
"I see him, kiddo."
We walk to buy the tickets and I see the happy dance starting. This usually means there are lights, fans, or joy of joys - lights with fans, somewhere close.
One of the more unique qualities of a kid with Haydn's super power (Asperger Syndrome) is the way they can fixate on certain details and environmental stimuli that mere mortals may not find all that interesting.
Like lights, for instance...
I stop at the concession stand to load up on some theater food, and in the span of about four minutes I learn that "these circle lights are on," and "the square fluorescent lights are off." "The light outside is probably automatic," and several declarations that "This is the movies!" I hear about the girl's room and the men's room, and some room called "the private, great big bathroom with the lights off."
I finish paying and Haydn grabs Mommy by the hand and leads the way into the unknown world of "sensory friendly movies."
"Sensory friendly movies" are movies where the sound volume is turned down a bit and the lights are dimmed, but not off. You can bring your own food, and the kids can be as loud, fidgety, or spectrum-ish as they need to be. This is to make the movie more palatable to the extremely sensory-sensitive kids on the autism spectrum. I'm pretty sure the inventor of this noble concept never encountered a kid like Haydn. The "sensory-friendly" movie concept PLUS Haydn is like shark diving in a pork chop wet suit. It may work out for a little while, but eventually something extreme is going to happen.
We find a row to sit in, and settle down for the adventure ahead. The movie starts and Haydn is locked in. I'm sure the huge box of Sour Patch Kids (great idea by the way, giving a kid who leans towards the hyperactive a box of sugar-coated rocket fuel) helps to keep him in his seat, but I'll give the movie a little credit. Actually, the credit should really go to the "credits." Haydn is riveted by the opening and closing credits of a movie. He loves to watch words and numbers roll down the screen quite a bit... the actual movie... maybe not so much.
Now that the actual movie is ready to start, Haydn starts looking around the theater and, because the lights were DIMMED and not off (great idea people), he sees every light fixture in the room and begins mentally organizing his "things to check list."
"Hey Daddy-o!!!!!" Game on
Now, I don't know how many exclamation points are the standard for screaming at the top of one's lungs, but that's pretty much what we're looking at here.
"Hey Daddy-o!!!!"
"Yes, Haydn."
"There's lights on the sidewalk!!!!"
"Could you whisper please?"
"Yes." Whoops.
"Will you whisper please?"
"Hey Daddy-o!!" Same volume, only now he's got a little gravel and grit to his voice. He sounds like a four year-old Harvey Fierstein.
"Yes, Haydn."
"I need to check the lights on the sidewalk."
"Of course you do."
Now the game is afoot. It's time to start checking things. That's what Haydn likes to do. Check things. The only thing he likes to do more than check things, is talk about checking things. So he checks the lights on the sidewalk. These are the red lights that run along either side of the aisle, obviously installed so you can check things during the movie and find your way back to your seat. Up the aisle he goes, checking the lights on the walls, and talking about the circle lights in the ceiling that are not off. Once he gets to the door...
"Wow!! Look at that great big green light!!"
"Haydn, whisper please."
"That's an awesome green light!!!" Thank you Mr. Fierstein. Hey, at least he tries.
I finally lead the little checker back to his seat. He comes with no argument. As we quietly head back to our seats, I think to myself, - I have the greatest kid in the world (which I do). What a little gentleman, walking back to his seat with no fuss and doing exactly as his Daddy requests. For a brief moment I actually thought I had contained the situation. I am Haydn's Daddy-o: The Asperger Whisperer - Master of all four year-olds. Cool, calm, ready for anything that life presents...
So, here we are, back in our seats. Haydn is sitting with Mommy like a big boy, talking a little about lights, a little about the movie, and sitting still. Then he turned his head.
Luckily for the people sitting in the theater, Haydn was there to point out who was sitting behind us, and if you think back to where you were a couple of Saturdays ago around 11-ish, you probably heard the announcement as well:
"Hi family! Hi mother! Hi father! Hi boy! Hi girl! Hi baby! That's a great big family!"
And if you missed the first announcement, I'm sure you heard one of the many follow up announcements immediately afterward.
At this point I'm laughing so hard that parenting is out of the question. Daddy-o is done and needs a minute to regroup. Mommy takes over as assistant checker and she and Haydn go up the other aisle to check the awesome green light at the other entrance.
Now that the inspector has moved on, I have a few minutes to myself and all I want to do is stuff popcorn into my face and enjoy some of the movie. But it's hard for me to concentrate initially because all I can hear is the commentary coming from the back of the theater.
"That great big awesome green light is not on!!!"
"You better go buy a bulb!! Uncle Greg can fix that light!!"
"Hi girl!! Look at that awesome green light that's not on!"
"Hey mama, I need to go potty!!!"
"This is the theater room!!!"
"That's a sconce light!!" (I'm not even sure what a sconce is, so I defer to the expert)
Things finally quiet down from the back of the theater and I get my chance to relax and watch a few minutes of the movie. I put my feet up and grab a handful of popcorn when a young fellow in a very tight white turtleneck pops up a few rows in front of me and proclaims at the top of HIS lungs:
"This movie is called How To Train Your Dragon from Dreamworks!!! I like this movie!!!"
Of course you do....
To be continued...
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