Ohh. been there still there. My son is 12 and HATES to brush teeth. Finally we found something that works most of the time a timer. we set the timer for 2 mins and he brushes his teeth to see if he can "beat" the timer. My son when he was younger had oral surgery and you do feel like a failure but our oral surgeon bless his heart but his arms around me and said mom you are doing the best you can and thats all that matters!  

You are so not a “bad mother.” I can read your hurt and feeling unsure about you being a mommy. I am in the same boat. You are doing wonderful as his mommy. Every day, we are learning how to or what to do for our child. Thank goodness for this website that we can be your shoulder to lean on – My son had a hard time but I found out he loves to count or hear ppl count. So I would brush his teeth while counting. It worked for me – I hope this can help

Hugs to you – don’t beat yourself up
Smile
cc
  

@bellaariana boy are you correct lol. my son just had his second oral surgery on the 23 of feb they had to pull four of his front teeth and two at the bottom as well as put crowns in the back and it was rough on me i felt like the hugest failure that ever lived looking at my baby on the bed in recovery with his teeth missing and so out of it from the narcotic and tubes in his nose and IV uggh it nearly destroyed me i wanted to throw myself in front of a moving truck(figure of speech) but now he is fine brushing better now that the dentist gave him his cool new big boy brush and a toy yeah lol thats all it took after id been restraining him all this time. now he has the cutest little toothless smile. however hios new love of brushing is the greatest gift of all.He still gets caught up in sucking the water and paste off the bursh and not actually brushing but that issue is minor compared to what was happening. that i can deal with  

I have the same issue with my daughter. My husband sits her on his lap and holds her hands. She finally just sits there and opens her mouth and get's it over with. I just sing the ABC's and say, "done".
You know when you're standing there with the toothbrush and they look so content and you're like, "uhg.. this is going to be fun" LOL. Isnt it nice to have a community with people that understand? hang in there mama!!!
  

You are doing great! I am also having periods of 'guilt' - but, I have to save that energy for being an advocate for my son. One thing that helped my husband and I will the teeth brushing was to put the 'child toothpaste' on our son's brush (almost 3 years old) - and since he still likes to gnaw on things - he gnaws on the toothbrush :) much better than the pacifier and he is now used to the feeling of the toothbrush in his mouth :)

You are NOT a bad parent. You are doing everything that you can and it can be very overwhelming. Yes, we are parents, but we are also individuals and need 'quiet time' to 'regroup'. You evidently love your child very much - that is what matters.  

I thank everyone for the support. I have a bit of an update. but im still a bit depressed. my son now requests toothbrushing because he likes the lavor of the kiddie toothpaste I buy. The downside however is after having him put under to fix his teeth the first time this new fixation on brushing is a little to late to prevent him needing to be put to sleep again because more damage has occured since then. once is one thing but twice? i feel like i seriously dropped the ball , I felt like a monster restraining my child just to brush his teeth. and now that he is doing it its just him basically sucking the toothpaste and water off the brush i still have to maneuver it for him at which point he gets upset and wants to give up on it all together  

I went through the exact same thing with my boys...Julian had caps put on his front teeth and he had a ton of fillings. I wanted to crawl under a large rock when I took him to his dentist. You are not doing anything wrong whatsoever and I understand just how you feel. I too felt like a big failure. I put a huge poster in the bathroom concerning personal hygeine. It has pictures of a bathtub, a hair brush, a tooth brush, and a clean outfit. That worked very well. The boys know exactly what they need to do in order to get ready for the day. Try that and see what happens. Best of luck to you. :-)  

I think that the fact that you cared enough to come on here and ask for help shows you're not a bad mom. Hang in there, it may not be brushing teeth but we all have struggles with our kids and let things slide sometimes to survive. Good luck!  

You have no reason to feel guilty...  

Hello, I am new here and this is the first post I have read...great support system indeed.
My son 6.5 just had his first full check-up, cleaning etc..last week he had to be put under, which is never a good thing to do but I had no choice (he is a terrible grinder so we had to check for other issues). The dentist was wonderful & patient...suggested I try brushing his teeth by standing behind him...this way he is forced to bend his head backward (trys to look up at you), mouth generally is open in this position so that's when I attempt to get the toothbruush in...at first it wasn't easy but he is slowly trusting me more and is aware that brushing will not harm him. A wet washcloth (he chews) has been my saving grace as well and apples :). making it fun with song and making a game out of it I agree may help. Hope this is an idea that will work for you and others. Be strong & keep the faith ...a 'concerned' Mom oozes "love" :)!  

Nothing to feel guilty about...  

My daughter is 12 now and I have found through the years the best way to reach her was through music. So I would sing a song to her as she brushed she had a few favorites but I would make them up as I went along since she was a germ phobe as well I would sing about getting rid of the germs that really helped. Make it fun have him make up the song with you and put it to a familiar tune...it always works when I make it fun! Keep up the good work!  

You are a great mom. Sometimes we get in survival mode just trying to make it another hour, day, or week. Our son has the same issue. He liked to suck the wet washcloth in the bathtub. We used that at first. He still struggles as if we are trying to pull his teeth out. It's one of many sensory issues our kids face. Hang in there.  

redbadger007, thank you for the idea,I did not think to use a timer or reward toy, I have only tried the first and then board but never a reward for brushingl I have been so focused on routine and just getting it done to save his teeth and any pain he may feel from the damage to them.my way just is not working and im open to try anything. right now i have to pretty much pin his arms and force the toothbrush in and get what i can before he claps down on the toothbrush for dear life and wont let me move it  

you are only human and also a loving mother. have u tried to use a timer and maybe a special reward toy only for use after brushing for say 10min play then put away till the next brush time i had problems washing my sons hair i have now given up and he hasnt had his hair washed in 6months thank goodness it never smelt we keep it quite short i hope this is of some help. dont ever blame yourself   

I take comfort In knowing there are parents who understand this struggle.  

I'm actually in the same boat with my kid, Kenter.  

Nothing wrong...just takes some time  

You are doing nothing wrong. My daughter absolutely hated brushing her teeth, for the longest time. She eventually just got used it and it became part of her routine. It is something that just takes time...  

I'm with you there..my daughter hates getting her teeth brushed..been a daily struggle..she's got a few bad teeth..that's life..I would NOT blame yourself. These children have special needs..its a daily lesson to be learned..keep your chin up ;-D  

i agree u are doing nothing wrong, and i went through the same thing with my son, he had dental surgeries as well, and has been through alot with his teeth! he's almost 16yrs old now and doing better with it but i still have to remind him constantly to brush his teeth(amongst all the other daily reminders for him)but do not beat yourself up, it happens, i now am goin through it with my 5yr old daughter, whats funny is i brush her teeth everyday and have since she was a baby, but i think maybe it has something to do with her diet, maybe her teeth just are not getting what they need to be strong enough, hav to talk to the dentist(to top it off she was born with an extra tooth)LOL! take it day by day, thats what i learned to do!  

You are doing nothing wrong.